Chicken Soup for the Soul

Once upon a time my parents were big on the Chicken Soup for the Soul books.  Here is an excerpt from one of the books that entertained me greatly:  (no copyright intended, all anecdotes are property of Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul "What I wish I had known sooner")

-Don't drink grapejuice while wearing a white t-shirt and driving to school.
-Don't let your life wait for other people.
-Dropping a cell phone into a bathtub full of water kinda kills the phone.
-Your mother will find out if you dye your hair purple.
-If it hurts, DON'T DO IT AGAIN
-That which does not kill you will ultimately make you stronger
-Don't sprint around the pool if you're trying to impersonate Jim from Huck Finn
-Zits always pop up when you really can't afford for them to pop up
-All that's gold doesn't glisten
-When in doubt, duck.  When certain, don't bother cause you're already screwed.
-When driving a car through a gate, always, always, make sure the gate is open-- the consequences may be  fatal to your car.
-If you're not living ( I mean really living), you're already dead.
-Never pierce your belly button in the dark.
-Being nice to people will get you far.
-Dreaming and doing go hand in hand.
-Life moves fast, but not so fast that you can't slow down to enjoy it.
-Instead of waiting for life to get better, do something about it.
-The one person you can truly love is often right in front of you.
-Smart people can do very stupid things.

The adventures of being older, single,LDS, female, and living in Utah

There are many.

First, people are always asking "Why is a nice girl like you is still single?"  or "Now why hasn't someone snatched you up yet?"  or "Why don't you date more?".  To these I always shrug and say, I don't know-ask the guys! If I knew what I was doing to scare them all away I could possibly stop scaring them all away.  (Barely refraining from adding the "duh" here)

Then you get the, Don't you want to get married? Ok, so this has only been asked of me a couple of times and by young 19-20 newlyweds that give you the big eyed stare as if you are dying of some disease or something.  They assume that if you are still single it must be by your choice alone.

And lets not forget the constant "Oh I have a nephew/cousin/brother/neighbor/neighbors nephew/neighbors cousin/2nd cousin... who is older/shy/short/cute, so you two would be perfect for each other!" If I had a nickel for every time I've heard some variation on this phrase.  Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment when it comes from my family or friends who mean well, but after so many setups/failures it does get a bit depressing.  I don't do so well on set up dates... I just never know how to be myself.  

And every time you get a wedding invite in the mail, the senders seem to get younger and younger.  I have friends who graduated high school after I graduated college who are married or engaged.  Then at the reception there are generally always the comments along the lines of "So when is it your turn young lady?" and "Better get up in front so you have better odds at catching that bouquet..." meaning I need all the luck I can get? At least I do run into old friends as well.  At one in particular I remember seeing several of my good friends from high school.  They were there with their husbands and kids.  I remember looking around at all the happy couples with their children, busy discussing with one another plans for decorating and maintaining their houses and such.  As I watched and caught snippets of conversation I couldn't help but think so, I have no degree (yet) no car, no house, no husband, no children... wow, I feel great right about now. The self pity wore off fairly quickly, but occasionally returns here and there.

On that topic, we have to bring up the "Everyone moves at their own pace, you just haven't moved on to that stage yet." Always, always mentioned by someone who has moved on to that stage.  Also always mentioned by someone who really does care.  It's good advice, but has never honestly made me feel better about the old single stage I am currently getting deeper and deeper into. It just makes me feel as though I am falling further behind where I would like to be in life and getting more stuck someplace I do not want to be.

Just because

Just because the last few posts were novels... here's a nice short one :)

Choices

We all have choices to make in this life.  Recently I have heard several comments along the lines of  "Well, they chose this or that" as if because they chose something then we are free to judge.

For example the other day while driving I saw a homeless person staring off an overpass that we were on and I turned to the person next to me and made a comment about how sad it made me to see so many homeless in this town.  He idle replied "well, they choose to be homeless, they could go get a job so it's their own fault.  Don't let it get you down."  This really struck me.  Some people make poor choices that lead to their homelessness, but does this mean that we should not have compassion on them?
And not all homeless people are in that circumstance because of their own choices, but the choices of others.  If someone is living paycheck to paycheck barely able to make enough to survive and then the company lays them off or goes out of business, then perhaps that person could become homeless.  This was not because of any great wrong that the person committed, but in this economy jobs--even part time minimum wage jobs--are hard to come by. Try to imagine being homeless and filling out job applications and go to interviews--it would be incredibly difficult.

A recent news article I read was about a young woman who was killed and her body left stuffed under a mattress. I heard several rumors about her being into drugs.  Many seemed to come to the conclusion that she was into drugs and therefore her murder was drug related and therefore it barely merited investigation. A comment was made on KSL that it seemed a fitting end for a druggie.   I conclude that drug related or not, this is no fitting end for any human being.  This commentator made a rash and heartless assumption with no real facts to back up such a claim.  Not to mention what if this poor girls family were to read such a statement?  Maybe she made poor choices, but none of us know what led her to do so.  Not a single one of us can ultimately understand why she would choose such a lifestyle.  But that does not mean that she is to be written off as just another druggie or that she deserved to be murdered at such a young age.  She was a person who was loved by many and will be missed.  Such circumstances also deserve compassion, not judgement.

I feel that regardless of if a person has made poor choices, that does not mean that it is my place to judge them.  Whatever poor choices they have made is between them and God. 
If we spent less time judging each other and more time trying to understand one another then I feel that there would be a lot more peace in the world.  People would get along better.  
Even if there is absolutely nothing you can do to better someone's situation, or if it honestly is a circumstance of their own poor choices, the very least we can do for one another is to have compassion and try to be understanding.  After all, who knows when it will be me, or you that makes a poor choice, or a stupid mistake that leads to more than we anticipated it would. 

What to do when you're bored

 

Play in the garden

 

Chase the cat around 

 

 

Learn to like new foods

 

While not giving up on old delicious foods

 

Check out an awesome (work in progress) bike

 

Watch fireworks! (but only on holidays sadly enough)

Utah drivers or Salt Lake drivers?

Welcome to Salt Lake! Beautiful mountains, sparkling lakes, trees and trails! And also some of the worst, most inconsiderate, rudest drivers I have ever had the misfortune to be around.  And I have driven in St George in the summertime.  And Logan, and Riverdale road during the week.  And yet, Salt Lake, you top them all.  St George was nothing to you, and the drivers there are often old and probably slightly senile.

For example, I slow down to trun and get honked at.  I stop at a YELLOW light and get honked at.  What is it with you people and your horns? Those I rolled my eyes at. But today, today tops them all.  Driving up 4500 on my way to the store I notice a big construction type truck in my rear view.  I don't think too much of it at first other than hoping he would slow down a little bit as he was coming up very fast on my bumper-- I could not speed up becasue I was already on the tail of the car in front of me hoping he wouldn't stop too suddenly.  As I came to the intersection I was aware of the aforementioned truck behind me in the turn lane.  I ignored him as I was busier watching the traffic.  The light was green, but it was not an arrow.  Meaning that I had to wait until there was sufficient clearance for me to turn.  Well, the oncoming traffic was two lane and constant.  There were not even gaps that I wondered if I should attempt to get through, no, there was a steady stream of traffic.  Behind me I heard the truck honk at me.  I simply rolled my eyes wondering if he had eyes to see the traffic.  Then the light turned red and the other lane got to go.  The next light was a green arrow.  The second it turned green I heard a blaring horn behind me from the truck.  I was already going, he did not need to be so impatient.  Then as I was driving down the street he sped up past me (keep in mind here I was already going 5 over the speed limit) and I thought I heard yelling.  I looked over to see him yelling apparently at me and flipping me off.  I got to the store rather shaken up, I do not understand what I personally did that was so offensive that warranted this kind of behavior.  For a minute I was truely afraid that he was going to try to run me off the road, really and honestly scared me. Is this how Sale Lake drivers act? No wonder you have the reputation for the worst drivers in the country.  Oh, and thanks for the warm welcome into your city.  It makes me feel so much happier about leaving my home and my friends to come here. 
PS. I don't know that I EVER remember anyone honking at me before I came here.
PSS. Ok, so there are SOME good drivers here. I have seen some people be courteous, but they seem few and far between.

Where oh where have my muses all gone

 I have three muses.  Correction, I had three muses.  Now they are gone away and I have no more interesting thoughts to blog about. Sunshine, Kelsi, Shasm, you know who you are, we need to hang out soon. I am not loving the great white north so much. I have no friends, I have no muses. Hence I have no great thoughts swirling around in my head to blog about simply to put to paper (figuratively) just to clear my head of all the ideas I used to have running around like wild things.  I need to return to the land of red rocks and visit all my friends.  Hopefully I will make friends here soon. Sooner rather than later. On Sunday I found myself recalling a post by Kelsi titled, having friends at church is overrated. I was rather feeling the same way this past weekend.

PS. My cousins I'm staying with are amazing!! they are just all very busy and I don't see them very often.