This and That

Some days I feel like my life has been boring. I have never traveled anywhere, or won any contests or had any adventures that people would feel like hearing much about.  But then I think of the little adventures I have and think, maybe it's not as boring as I think. A few tidbits......

--running around St George lingerie shopping for a roommates wedding, a town in which there is none to be found. All the while in high heels
--watched a friend of mine catch a wedding bouquet and promptly throw it at the girl next to her yelling "It's yours!!!!! Take it!!!"
--another friend had a truck crash into her house. Yes, a truck, through her master bathroom and into the bedroom. Two feel over and it would have killed her.
--Last summer I went camping down at Zions. We couldn't find one bag of tent stakes, it was a windy night. Sometime during the night when the tent hit me in the face and the wind was blowing the canvas up under me I thought it was a wild animal and I jumped on my roommate who was next to me shouting something about a bear. She was far from amused however.
--KGB and I can apparently hold conversations in our sleep. Completely random yet entertaining ones from what I'm told.

Weird Dreams

Caution, if birds creep you out, you really should not read this. 
Most of my life I have had very vivid dreams. I generally remember a great deal of them, and they are pretty adventurous. Lately I have still been having very vivid wild dreams. However, almost nightly now I have been dreaming about dead birds. Now, dead birds creep me out immensely ( I mean really, who doesn't get a little creeped out by loads of dead birds), so it's horrible to have them all over in my dreams. Usually I am dreaming that I am going about my day either running off to work or going to the gym or something but I have to keep moving to avoid all the dead birds on the ground. And last night I dreamed that I was just trying to get into my old apartment but I had to climb the railing to get up there because the stairs were covered with bird carcasses. It's creepy! And not just one type of bird, although usually pigeons, but also little yellow and black birds as well.  It's weird. And creepy. And gross. I don't even like any birds at all anymore. Hmm, I wonder what the symbolism of so many dead birds is? Any suggestions?

Six Months

Well I have officially lived here for 6 months.  Half a year.  Wow.  I have to say, it's turned out not remotely like I thought it would when I moved here. It feels like so much longer.  I had too high of expectations when I came here. I still feel like I want to turn and run away from it all.  Sadly, life doesn't always give us what we want.  I still wish I had a full time job, but any job right now is good to have.  I may still wish things had worked out with the boy, but they didn't.  Oh well, life really sucks like that sometimes.

So, instead of being mad that I don't have a better job, or crying because I got my heart broken, I think I need to take a more proactive route.  What that is I'm not sure at the moment.  I do know that I'll keep looking at jobs, full and part time and see what happens.  I do think I'll start planning some real trips in the not too distant future.  I have always wanted to see the world, but figured I should devote my resources to my future and family.  Well, if I keep waiting for my future one day I'll wake up and realize I've missed it.  I think my first stop is going to be Ireland.  I've already been pricing tickets (can my pocketbook say ouch?I think if it could it would be) but it would be worth it. I do need to get healthy first, and get my student loans paid off, but if I am careful with my money it could be a possibility.  Sadly, the airfare will probably cost almost as much as an entire week venture through the Emerald Isle, and since I'm that far a quick trip to London may be in order.  I have a good friend in London whom I miss dearly and would love to see.

Nothing is set in stone at the moment, it all depends on my health and my finances.  But it's on my bucket list. Oh, and Miss Kelsi or Sunshine, I think you are oh so invited should I go, I fully intend on spending the night in a castle at some point while I am there.  Currently I am thinking September of 2013, or maybe May 2014.  Those months are cheaper because it's not during the typical tourist season but the weather is still pretty nice.

PS, we should totally still plan our Europe trip in 28 years, you know who you all are ;)

Revolution!

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world
But when you talk about destruction
Don't you know that you can count me out
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right

You say you got a real solution
Well, you know
We'd all love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
Well, you know
We're doing what we can
But when you want money
for people with minds that hate
All I can tell is brother you have to wait
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
Ah

ah, ah, ah, ah, ah...
You say you'll change the constitution
Well, you know
We all want to change your head
You tell me it's the institution
Well, you know
You better free you mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of chairman Mao
You ain't going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don't you know it's gonna be all right
all right, all right
all right, all right, all right
all right, all right, all right

*All lyrics property of the infamous Beatles rock band.  

Bleh bleh and bleh

What a night.  It all started when I realized only yesterday that I had a wedding reception in Layton at 6 and a bridal shower in Provo at 7:30.  I thought I could make it to both if I rush in, say hi to the bride and groom, rush out and then book it down to Provo.  Well the best laid plans.......

Traffic getting to Layton was horrendous, halfway there I wondered just how good of friends I was with these people that I was going through all the traffic, and big semi's-- I'm sure everyone I know knows my feelings on semi trucks being near me on the freeway.  But it would be the first time I had seen a lot of my old friends for nearly half a decade, which would be nice I decided.  I finally got into town a little after 6.
I was walking in thinking to see a few friends, grab food and run.  Nope didn't happen.  I thought after all this time I would have learned to keep my heart a little more guarded.  Nope. Still haven't learned.  I thought a little space was what I needed to get over him, nope.  Why can't I be right about something?

I Ended up blowing off the bridal shower, partly due to the fact that I would have been an hour late and partly due to the fact that I didn't think I could handle any more wedding stuff.  Decided I wanted to make sushi rolls for dinner, that would make me feel better.  But even in this big ol' city do you think one can find a place that sells seaweed sheets after 8 at night? Nope.  I couldn't find any. I may as well have been back in Cedar for all the luck I had.  Finally settled on cream cheese won tons for dinner. Healthy I know (sarcasm intended). Was feeling slightly better after I got home and got some oil heated up.  Then I couldn't find the tongs.  The result of this is that tonight I learned that attempting to pull won tons out of hot (spitting) oil with a fork onto a plate merely results in burned fingers and a broken plate. Then do you think I could find a dustpan to even sweep all the broken glass into? Nope.  I did find a piece of cardstock  I used.  but of course all the glass wouldn't sweep up very well, hence the cut finger.

Yep, it's been one of those nights. 

The East side of the Canyon

I've never been to the east side of Zions.  I don't think I realized it was so vast, or that the road was quite so.... slightly terrifying? It might not have been had we not all been squished in like sardines. I was pretty much sitting on the lap of the girl next to me.  All in all, successful journey, beautiful views, and we all survived.  Even with one person in the back/trunk of the Subaru, and the fact that the driver drove up the middle of the road and jerked the car over whenever we met another car--which usually wasn't until the last minute (hence the terrifying part).  And the fact that not a single person in the back seat could have worn a seat belt if we had wanted to.  It was an excellent week however.
I went to several weddings, found out I have a few more this coming week plus another bridal shower.  I wonder what is in the drinking water around here and where I can get some? I have at least 5-6 weddings to attend within a 3 week period (not including the two engagements announced over Christmas!) .
Anyways..... It was fun. And I actually felt like taking pictures again, hooray! Lately I had been feeling like I didn't care if I took pictures anymore, I never even had my camera with me anywhere I went (gasp, yes it's true!) I didn't even know where it was for about a week, then discovered the battery had been dead for ages.

So this sign is actually a 30 MPH sign.  Normally I won't condone vandalism... but this made me laugh when I drove by it on my way into town.

It also gave me great pleasure to leave the dreary inversion of the city and head south.  Just look at that smog! No wonder we haven't seen the sun for weeks around here.  Seriously gross and scary looking.

At Zions we saw longhorn sheep next to the road, and we went through the tunnel.  It was long and dark and very awesome. 

Don't worry about this bridge, if you fall you will only fall several hundred feet into that deep ravine......

And what better way to end an excellent day of adventures than with barbecue.  Sonny Boys' in Cedar has absolutely amazing food! I'm hoping that they will soon have a store in Salt Lake or Provo as well.

My Love/Hate Relationship with Christmas

I love Christmas, I love the lights, the music and the smells.  I definitely enjoy the tasty food.  I also love how it tends to bring out the best in people.  It can bring out the worst in some people as well, but I'm not going to spend time expounding that at the moment.  I think that it's a time of year when children get to really be children and believe in magic.  It's a time when adults get a chance to create a little magic not only for their children, but for their fellow man (ie, layaway angels I've been hearing on the news about).

It's a time to remember the Savior and to celebrate his birth (even if it didn't really happen in December, its nice to have a time set aside to celebrate it all the same).  It's when we all have something in tie us together, to remember that we ought to value one another as individuals with all of our differences.  To remember that we are all children of the same God, and to treat each other as such.

So, with so much awesomeness, what can there possibly be to hate about Christmas?  Well, it's a bit personal.  Very personal rather, I have been debating if I would post this, but writing seems to be very therapeutic to me to get things out.

Christmas is a time to be with family.  It's a time to celebrate family.  And sometimes for me it's a just a reminder that I come from a very dysfunctional family and don't really fit in anywhere.  I know everyone's families have their problems and have dysfunctional moments.  But mine really is.  I remember as a child I would sit at the kitchen window and dream about the day when I could just get in my car and drive away and never come back.  It's a horrible thing for a child to think, but I did.  I do not enjoy spending time at my parents house, it is so full of negative energy and bad memories.  The longer I am there the more I am down on myself and depressed.  I often leave feeling like I am only three inches tall.
I am so very different from anyone in my immediate family.  My mother and I in particular do not see eye to eye on, well, just about anything you can imagine.  I often feel that she is constantly irritated at me for everything I do.  I feel that she wants me to be one sort of person, but I am another entirely.  This may sound somewhat vague, I don't know, but the details I could on about would take days, weeks even to sort through.  But what I need to realize is that I am an adult and do not need my parents approval to feel like I am a good person, easier said than done.  

So when the holidays roll around, I generally enjoy them but I dread Christmas eve coming around.  I dread going to my parents house.  While living down south with no car, it was not too difficult for me to find excuses to stay.  I usually had a job that would not allow me to leave anyway, and everyone around me would say "Oh you poor thing!" but I never really minded staying to work every holiday.  Now I have a week off work and the holiday is fast approaching.  I love the holiday in general, but would gladly skip the actual day in a heartbeat.