Thoughts...

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."
--Mark Twain

"If you keep putting off enough tomorrows, you'll find you pick up a lot of empty yesterdays."
--The Music Man

"The bitterest tears ever shed over graves are for words never said and deeds never done."
--Harriette Beecher Stowe

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who mind don't matter."
--Dr. Seuss

"Learn to love people and use things, not use people and love things."
--Anon.

"Your mind is a cupboard and you stock the shelves."
--Pres. Thomas S. Monson

"Temptation is sure to ring your doorbell, do not invite it to stay for dinner."
--Anon.

Stereotypes and Gender Roles

Why is it that we allow the media to dictate what our gender roles ought to be? Men are supposed to be cold hearted and show no emotions. The stoic warriors who are ruffled by nothing. Women are supposed to be brainless and skanky.

But are they supposed to be this way? Are human beings really like this? Because the men I know and respect are not robots, nor are they the "stoic warriors". They are human, they are sad at the death of a friend, they are considerate of others. And the women I know and respect are certainly not brainless or skanky.

Not only are these roles inaccurate with regards to the average person, but these stereotypes hardly demand the respect that humans ought to show to one another. In my opinion we all ought to treat each other with the same respect we want shown to ourselves.

And who is hollywood to tell us how we should act and feel? I mean, look at how miserable most of these movie stars are. If men and women are supposed to fit the roles that the media lays down for them, then shouldn't they be living the dream? But they are not! Therefore I would conclude that the molds that the world claims we are to fit are not only inaccurate but potentially harmful as well.

Selfishness

Lately I've been thinking a lot about why people lie, cheat or steal. Generally these things are at the cost of someone else, why do they do these things if it hurts someone else?

I think it comes down to one big thing: selfishness. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary: Selfish: concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others.

I would like to add to this a certain immaturity, a lack of taking responsibility for the consequences of one's actions. Selfish people almost always blame someone else for their misfortunes, it's never their own fault. I wonder if that is why they think it's ok to be so dishonest, it's the other persons fault that things went badly, so let's steal from them or cheat them somehow.

I have also observed that selfish people do not steal for what they need. No, they steal for what they want. A non-selfish person may take a job they do not want -- such as janitorial or food service-- in order to ensure that they have the things they need such as food, shelter and clothing. But it seems that selfish people have these things and are unsatisfied. They want the fancier car, the bigger house, the newer boat, they are never content. They then attempt to get what they want at the expense of others. They don't care who they hurt, so long as they get the things that they want.

In retrospect I cannot understand such behavior. It is enough however, to encourage me to curb any little selfish behaviors I have because I do not want to end up like these I have so harshly labeled here.

Randomosity

Awkward Moment

So this week my roommate and I attended a game night at a a friend's house. When we arrived, the guys were just finishing up watching football game. So my roommate and I sat on the couch to wait until the game was over and we could begin the game night. I was sitting on the end of the couch so that there was maybe 6 inches between myself and the arm of couch.

A very large young man sitting in a chair across the room from us suddenly jumped up out of his chair and came over to try and sit on the couch. Did I mention a very large young man, larger than the 6 inches between me and the end of the couch. Hence he ended up sitting mostly on my lap. I looked at my roommate and we burst out laughing because it was rather entertaining. He didn't even acknowledge that he was sitting on me! I scooted out a little bit so that I was now mostly sitting on my side squished between my roommate and the large person who was still not even noticing anything but the football game. Other people in the room were giving him odd looks of disbelief, but he appeared to be oblivious to everything and everyone around him.

Now, this was a bit uncomfortable for me. I have a large bubble in which I don't particularly like people I don't know invading. In retrospect I should have unwedged myself from my seat on the couch and taken his chair, but the idea did not occur to me at the time. I remember thinking that it was a strange situation and he wouldn't seriously keep sitting there once he realized that there was already a person there! Finally, after the game when he still didn't move one of the other guys in the room asked him to move back to his chair and he got all grumpy about having to move.

Boiling the Frog

A recent article in the newspaper had me doing a double take. A former professor of mine had been arrested for attempting to solicit services from a prostitute. He was arrested as part of a sting in which he and several other people from the community were caught-- including the VP of SUU. At first glance I was certain that there had been a misunderstanding, some sort of mistake made by the police force. But after reading a recent article I came to understand that there was no mistake, these men had truly fallen to such temptation.

It is a humbling and alarming thing to realize how vulnerable we all are to such temptations and addictions. None of us are above temptation. It's just like the primary lesson about boiling the frog. It can start out with such seemingly small things until it escalates into big things.

I think that Professor Groft summed it up best in his statement. He has made no attempt to justify or deny his mistake. It seems to me that he just wants to move past it and do everything he can to get back on the right path. The following excerpt is his statement from Iron County Today:

" I feel that avoiding bargains and paying the maximum penalty that the court believes will satisfy justice is the best way for me to begin on the path of healing and redemption," Groft said in a statement released Wednesday evening through his attorney Blaine T. Hofeling.

" I have made some decisions that I will regret for the rest of my life," he said. "The road that led me to this point started out with smaller offenses that seemed benign but gradually pulled me further and further into a pit of addiction and despair. Although I continually prayed for forgiveness and experienced bouts of fortitude and upright behavior, the cycle of addiction and darkness visited me again and again and engulfed me more and more."

"My beliefs taught me better, my convictions taught me better, but unfortunately my beliefs and my convictions were weaker than my resolve. My wife, family and friends are all angry and shocked, but have offered a tremendous outpouring of love, forgiveness, and encouragement. I thank them for that."

--Andy Groft