There are many.
First, people are always asking "Why is a nice girl like you is still single?" or "Now why hasn't someone snatched you up yet?" or "Why don't you date more?". To these I always shrug and say, I don't know-ask the guys! If I knew what I was doing to scare them all away I could possibly stop scaring them all away. (Barely refraining from adding the "duh" here)
Then you get the, Don't you want to get married? Ok, so this has only been asked of me a couple of times and by young 19-20 newlyweds that give you the big eyed stare as if you are dying of some disease or something. They assume that if you are still single it must be by your choice alone.
And lets not forget the constant "Oh I have a nephew/cousin/brother/neighbor/neighbors nephew/neighbors cousin/2nd cousin... who is older/shy/short/cute, so you two would be perfect for each other!" If I had a nickel for every time I've heard some variation on this phrase. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment when it comes from my family or friends who mean well, but after so many setups/failures it does get a bit depressing. I don't do so well on set up dates... I just never know how to be myself.
And every time you get a wedding invite in the mail, the senders seem to get younger and younger. I have friends who graduated high school after I graduated college who are married or engaged. Then at the reception there are generally always the comments along the lines of "So when is it your turn young lady?" and "Better get up in front so you have better odds at catching that bouquet..." meaning I need all the luck I can get? At least I do run into old friends as well. At one in particular I remember seeing several of my good friends from high school. They were there with their husbands and kids. I remember looking around at all the happy couples with their children, busy discussing with one another plans for decorating and maintaining their houses and such. As I watched and caught snippets of conversation I couldn't help but think so, I have no degree (yet) no car, no house, no husband, no children... wow, I feel great right about now. The self pity wore off fairly quickly, but occasionally returns here and there.
On that topic, we have to bring up the "Everyone moves at their own pace, you just haven't moved on to that stage yet." Always, always mentioned by someone who has moved on to that stage. Also always mentioned by someone who really does care. It's good advice, but has never honestly made me feel better about the old single stage I am currently getting deeper and deeper into. It just makes me feel as though I am falling further behind where I would like to be in life and getting more stuck someplace I do not want to be.
First, people are always asking "Why is a nice girl like you is still single?" or "Now why hasn't someone snatched you up yet?" or "Why don't you date more?". To these I always shrug and say, I don't know-ask the guys! If I knew what I was doing to scare them all away I could possibly stop scaring them all away. (Barely refraining from adding the "duh" here)
Then you get the, Don't you want to get married? Ok, so this has only been asked of me a couple of times and by young 19-20 newlyweds that give you the big eyed stare as if you are dying of some disease or something. They assume that if you are still single it must be by your choice alone.
And lets not forget the constant "Oh I have a nephew/cousin/brother/neighbor/neighbors nephew/neighbors cousin/2nd cousin... who is older/shy/short/cute, so you two would be perfect for each other!" If I had a nickel for every time I've heard some variation on this phrase. Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment when it comes from my family or friends who mean well, but after so many setups/failures it does get a bit depressing. I don't do so well on set up dates... I just never know how to be myself.
And every time you get a wedding invite in the mail, the senders seem to get younger and younger. I have friends who graduated high school after I graduated college who are married or engaged. Then at the reception there are generally always the comments along the lines of "So when is it your turn young lady?" and "Better get up in front so you have better odds at catching that bouquet..." meaning I need all the luck I can get? At least I do run into old friends as well. At one in particular I remember seeing several of my good friends from high school. They were there with their husbands and kids. I remember looking around at all the happy couples with their children, busy discussing with one another plans for decorating and maintaining their houses and such. As I watched and caught snippets of conversation I couldn't help but think so, I have no degree (yet) no car, no house, no husband, no children... wow, I feel great right about now. The self pity wore off fairly quickly, but occasionally returns here and there.
On that topic, we have to bring up the "Everyone moves at their own pace, you just haven't moved on to that stage yet." Always, always mentioned by someone who has moved on to that stage. Also always mentioned by someone who really does care. It's good advice, but has never honestly made me feel better about the old single stage I am currently getting deeper and deeper into. It just makes me feel as though I am falling further behind where I would like to be in life and getting more stuck someplace I do not want to be.
3 comments:
I don't know if this will help at all but I listened to this thing from the Mormon Channel that made me feel better about singleness. I'll give you a link and hope it helps you feel better. :)
http://mormonchannel.org/programs/conversations-episode-29?lang=eng
If it doesn't help you feel better, just remember, I'm one of your good intentioned friends who doesn't always say the right thing. :)
Good intentioned friends I can handle, its the offhand comments I get a lot from people who don't really know me that make it difficult. Especially when I've had my heart broken a couple of times it makes if more difficult I think.
My favorite was when people would always finish by saying, don't worry guys are obviously just blind or stupid... yeah, that never managed to make me feel better. haha
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